Fine-tune

FINE-TUNE



Absolute pitch like any navigational chosen spot is edged towards out of an infinite series of variables that precede or succeed it, or play out simultaneously as background harmonics or low level buzz.

Any positional leaning, any tone, any tincture of a colour gradient is situated in this held myriad of complex differentiations. Some of these make it to the table. Others do not. Awareness flickers on and off glinting through specific frequencies that become the quality of an on-going gesture, expression, posture, song or story; or simply the countenance of all that is there. Yet each fragment that glints onto consciousness is so set in this myriad of possible tendencies. These are literally the pulls and pushes- the compressions and release of the physical body as it tilts and pivots around a tendency to turn that is forever offset by a counter tendency so that it becomes executed movements or lingering stillness- a pause-gap that can last seconds, minutes hours and is only known as something other than that which got stuck at the point of perception or filmic unravelling, because the plant at the side of the speaker/mover is still arching and curling in the wind of a nearby but unseen open window that gives light to the scene on that particular sunny afternoon.


The natural curvature of all life forms creates in an act of effortless change all one needs to go on with. These tilting tendencies present themselves to us as opportunities to rely on for short instances of optimum worth. It's our special niche to be able to time these attachments and detachments so as to take a ride on these larger currents and than to drop off again at just the right moment. All language is carried up into longer and more intricate trails and tales according to this adeptness of jumping on an off. We follow the current of the wind that is a larger pattern - a pattern of becoming that we do not exactly know or anticipate but that we simply give into and gain a particular composure around- as a bird is carried by the wind without ever becoming the wind. There is differentiation and affinity at every moment. How we hold and release muscle sets, viscosity, breath, and affinity with other life forms whether human or non-human is about this proximity and release; an involvement together with a non-involvement.


The voice too is a construct of this interior negative forming that is about the elasticity of the throat lining, the air circulating in and out – in this squeeze-release that gives it shape and push and the minute adjustments of constrictive, expansive tendencies that play into sound loops that cascade over one another, interrupt, cancel out and reinvigorate in turns and swoops. This air caligraphy carves out a space that is indeterminate; always caught into a moment yet reliant on a deeper sense of grounding through the shifting accommodating centre of the body, the earth, and the environ that is our surround and our release. Tilting is how we get to the ever changing yet constantly followed point of alignment through many different scales and tempos that calls and re-calls differently at each moment our being present. This deep set orientation is the method of coming into action, into speech, into address in the most effortless manner without having to recount the details one by one of how we got there. It is a broader shaping – a broader sweep of the brush. Something felt in the on-off balance between falling and catching in again, primed in the tiny thresholds of compression and expansion that we generate between brief associative leanings and between the intervals we articulate in these measured timings.

Torsion as feeling

TORSION AS FEELING



Torsion hits the back spine cradling the lumber, pelvis, sacrum and abdomen and keeps on splaying out- unravelling and tightening by degrees in hypo and hyper flexion/release that are a semblance of one another- converting off each other's extreme as a continual modulation that never ever breaks into one or the other.

The differing gradation is an on-going project- a matter of degrees that is time-specific; definitely consecrated in this bracket of this or that and so becomes a concretized attention zone to be dealt with through a physical accommodation.

Yet it is a part of an on-going story with myriad textures woven back and forth in this unbreakable depth. Every startle response is placated- soothed and re-dressed as a moment of entwinement before partially jolting free again. Inter-relatedness occurs all the way through as the knot splits into the two and interconnects re-bonding like a rope continually winding and unwinding round its own coils. This labyrinth coil is not a thing it is a situation so that it becomes a coiling movement emblazoned into the execution of a permanent low-level hum.

The viscosity of the body fibres that knit and arch into knots of holding create at another level, as an opponent composition, a lengthening, release and unwinding. That may be sudden as in a jerk or cataclysm or gradual as in a stretch or yawn.

So the levity of one arm is given in the compression at shoulder, hip, wrist, ankle, belly; wherever. These twinned responses of compression and expansion are the touch syllabus that is equated into movements that seem to be automatic spins out of specific localized and time-engaged holdings. This on-off pulse is the degree to which we feel and know the feeling of that feeling. Yet it percolates all the way through from the low level hum- the buzzing non-even beat that is life's fascination with continuity and change- or variation. It's in small degrees of contrast that any kind of momentum and stillness know themselves. So that movement and pause as different degrees of pressure and twinned non-localized release become a self-rendering combustion.

Torsion is self evident in what appears as stillness and in what appears as movement. It is read not at the surface but all the way through in the thickness of the skin and the way in which viscosity bears down on itself according to environmental probes and influences and as an outcome or symptom, lightens up again. Those symptoms can become useable- they can become our most effortless movements and on-going accommodations within a wider pattern.


Torsion occurs too in the affability and repulsion of seemingly disparate objects, surfaces, contexts. It is the flesh-machine that percolates in simple manifestations of play; a ball poked under a bowl with a dip in it's outer perimeter- that ball emerging in a concordant dip at the other side, taken over the back by one hand, passed back around to a different hand from a differently placed body who re-winds the process so that body-bowl-ball-body-bowl-ball is a continuous running process-torsion that links the internal working and external affability of two bodies through objects and ground-sky in a loop that plays out until it alters of its own accord in the hesitation, disturbance, friction and re-routing that is any running system. Consciousness becomes part of this torsion that follows the body adaptation in tiny thresholds of compression/release and the degrees of depth-expansion that assemble in this ensemble that is both simultaneous/sculptural/symphonic and narrative/sequential/episodic at varying levels of engagement.


How we posit our bodies and orientate them in this dance of combined elements that create a continuous torsion of engagement across time and distance is how we ecologically play out from the bounded and unravelling centre-spine outwards and simultaneously back inwards again. We are one and we a relational and so more than one and neither can be known without the other so total is this admixture and separation at every pulse of our lives. Language occurs out of this orientation that is forever making itself- recombining and falling away over and over. The diagram of this torsion is felt and apprehended- created as image and sensed all the way through in our ability to adjust or to imagine adjustment as a bodily and ongoing tilt between falling and stature. Torsion is the fine–tuning that is mobile but seems to be a point of permanent twist and flexion because it is flickering in this pulsation of contraction-release or on-off movement and hesitation.

Touch is more than discovering an object/person through surfaces and the qualities of rough-smooth, hot-cold that they offer to pre-established senses. It is the primer to this movement in space that articulates this reshaping of body-environment as a continuous re-invention so that what is there is always apt yet always slightly slewed so as to be on-going and contageously generative. Never simply a narrative played out immune to the context in which it quite literally takes hold and becomes what it is, reflective always of a wider situation in which it can not know but in which it is bathed.

___________________


*The above notes are in relation to my therapeutic/creative experience of working with a boy in a school with limited language and on-going interest in his surroundings in very specific processes involving his body, objects, sound textures, touch as pressure-release, facial mirroring. These relational sessions occur for roughly 45 mins per week.

The sessions act as a pacing device through body-environment-thought-image-articulation.

They are a creative investigation of body as Space-Ecology where every attentional matter becomes relevant and a part of this evolving diagram. He becomes the central investigator in the making of this diagram in which his body can orientate as it continuously adapts and re-shapes itself. Language begins to concretize around this pacing mechanism that he is creating with my facilitation/inclusion. Words are the last pieces- the pauses-punctuation that marks certain points of emphasis- like certain resonances in colour-sound-pressure found initially in the experience of these feelings and equated with fixed measures; as in near-far, up-down, fast-slow as relative terms that only come to mind and speech through the prior playing out of the event as process. He becomes week by week more assured in the making and re-making of this diagram-story with me that is always adaptive and agile to the situation- always apt. He is demonstrating his intelligence through and because of his increased body sensitivity- his ability to accommodate and adjust in ever more subtle variations so as to keep the contact- the torsion- the line of consistent enquiry through on-going change. He is six years old.

___________



Ref:
Antonio Damasio: The feeling of what happens
Vintage Books 2000

A Tendency

A Tendency



He's wheeled in and left at the door. His carer disappears called to another duty.

I unstrap him. As each strap comes off the limbs begin to waver. His hand reaches towards his mouth. He stuffs it in and bites down. I lift him out of the body-hugging padded chair. Close to my body I swing around so that our body mass becomes one. I crease my lower limbs and he is carried to the floor through the drop of our joint gravitational weight, succumbing to gravity in one full sweep. As his small body touches the mat, it inevitably sends small shocks through his alert nervous system. The difference in temperature between the flat mat and his over-worked arching body is enough to register small shock waves of affront. it is this affront that I begin immediately to work off, warming form the belly a contact that through duration could not be called exactly touch- something with connotations of suddenness and a certain level of external infringement- but is more a sense of enfoldment which is as much an attentional zone as a skin contact. Through outstretched hands- as if warming and adjusting so as to create an even sense of heat through tiny tilts and realignments that then send down further, than come up by degrees, there is an accommodation- like moving into a room- working out the co-ordinates- registering body motility, arm expansion, and even such uncertainties as emotional timbre, gestural inflexion that becomes possible in the space given. This space is not a finite bounded object. It is the body as re-vamping of impulses, motivations and micro affects-responses that are always twinned affiliations- always relational tones cobbled together in real time and the ongoing and interlacing composure of context. The context is quite literally the time it takes to take a breath in and expel it again; it is the small manoeuvres that float boundary constrictions to create push-me pull-you alignments across bodies. I am a Braille reader or a pianist waiting for the indentions to sound out and resonate as articulations through the palms and pads of my hands and fingers before they ever reach outwardly audible sound, language or expression. Or perhaps he is the pianist playing me into different composures by the slightest of breathes. Yet both ways together we intend and set up an expectancy/potential that plays out in tendencies that to all intents and purposes, have a life of their own.


The warming is a belly to belly contact- of deep guttural motivations- wells and ponds that in raising their temperature even minutely begin to stir and pattern in an entirely different way. The hands are an intermediary- simply a prosthetic outreach that is both there at the point of contact but is also all the way through in this shared anatomical abdomen that is then a capacity to move forward- to tilt, to adjust as I in fact do every time that M breathes in and breathes out, spasms and relaxes, condenses and dissipates an area of emphasis so that the point of contact is maintained through this joint co-regulation that is on both sides of the machine a derivation of one another- a continual re-shaping so as to stay with an easy contact that is so light at times that it seems to hover on an air current and even when the contact sinks deeper into the fascia it is because it is let in and it is as if there is space made between the muscle groups, the blood, the bone- a gaseous exchange in the heart of solid matter.


This porosity at the centre of flesh is material and dispersive- a parting of the waves- an effortless journey so that the most interior of places become expansive- a wealth of tributaries and pathways that make/find themselves and become known to themselves on this slightest of aggravation- the touch slowed into duration until it becomes a permanent feature- the sand particle that disturbs the current around which another form perhaps coalesces for a certain period of time. These interruptions that than lead to further dispersals begin then to create a diagrammatic map that is a circulation network and a record of visitation- low level intrusions that become useable- the point at which something begins to turn- a spin- a capacity to re-orientate- to envelope and to diversify out from these whirlpools of intensity.


The child uses the touch sensibly and together there is a playing off of one tendency as if a levy breaks and is them shored up differently in the very process of it pouring away. This levying creates a makeshift lever in which a point of constriction becomes an opportunity to push against- to internally feel the organs, muscles, swelling and sinking in these waves of on-off pressure. It's the variable that works on every count- the subtle contrast that creates this variegated texture that is made as if in a workshop or artists studio- out of bits and pieces and what actually comes to hand in the moment of looking and assembling. More and more of the child's body is implicated until the one sticking point- the jammed up foot and ankle; the crooked neck; the grinding teeth; the mitten hand thrust into the mouth becomes the last moment of release once all the other circulations through abdomen, hip , pelvis, sacrum, ribs, chest, back bone, cranium, cheek, forehead, thigh, knee have been articulated in a natural furling and unfurling that is an on-going process of flourishing that can at no instance be divorced from receptivity, relational admixture, the tilting realignment of my body in relation to each small impulse. So that the tendency to spasm itself becomes a useable trail and the leg taken into the spasm and then woven back through in the opposite direction becomes an opportunity for a stretch. Similarly the abrupt cautioning of a loose falling away held in an uncompleted suspended state begins to re-work its own outcome and to feedback/flow-back into muscle intelligence in which counter-directives hold together as tonality. Simply this levitation mid-point- as a slight pause in an on-going affect- becomes a point of reflectivity in which the body in space begins to think itself- in the details of blood flow, valve opening and closing, breath expenditure from core vital organs to the ever more refined tributaries and cell formations that create this labyrinth of gathering and dissipating formations.


Neither is ever done with and so the boy lying there becomes an intensively multiplying multi scalar figuration which begins at a certain point to read back these minute pulses. The practitioner sends through these pulses before they disappear beyond the range of the known body back into the body reading map until wider and wider circuits of involvement become possible. Form and movement in which form is renewed hinges around these diverse articulations that span out beyond the extremity of limbs into a reach ability that is an attentional zone. This is where focus, perception and recognition become expressive compositions within an ecology of co-existing influences. And yet there is so much before that drives in small tendencies that either play out or are re-implicated into a parallel flow an another admixture so that every expression is the buoyant flotsam on this sea of turning.

Such turning configuration is relational but not initially in the social-mind-cognition-intention sense but in the direct sense that hot affects cold, hard, soft, liquid affects dry, gaseous, material. These are real qualities that determine one another and inter-relate to forge countless subtleties of material-imaginative-movement possibilities further down the line.


Contraction and expansion is the coupled tendency out of which a child in constant spasm gradually organises a pulse into rhythmic and a-rhythmic expectancy and innovation that is than played with, reattributed and becomes further down the line- as a secondary affect- according to the appropriateness s of the situation, a grasp, a smile, a sustained look that is quite different from the wavering head and swimming wooden limbs of before. This totally still point whether in a state of momentary internal calmness, or in a certain humanly recognizable expressive state or sound; perhaps even a yawn, is a moment that becomes useable and deeply ingrained in human experience/body memory. But it is never a social, cognitive goal to be mapped out in advance in a compartmentalized and sought-out manner. Rather it is the end point of an emergence out of the many beats, pulsations, disturbances and inflexions that drives resolution as a continual harmonic resonance in a co-environmental field.

Attention-Attention-Attention

Attention-Attention-Attention




What is an attentional zone? What is a bite-sized quota of gaze after which there must be a blink for refreshment, the watering windscreen wiper over the surface of the eye and a near seamless sewing together of a similar gaze? What about a gulp of air- or the dilated nostrils flaring up with the intake of a scent- perhaps the body odour of a plumber caught in a small back closet from a job nearly ten years before who worked his fine motor skills with the bulk of his body caught and overheating. How do we pass these disparate scent readings over the thin blood vessels inside the nose cavity that is the only part of our brains open – albeit in a vacuumed tunnel, to the elements of what we call our “outside world”? More than any other question is the one that probes this durational timing technique- the micro timing of the in-breath and the out-breath, of a gaze and a blink, of a stance and a shift of weight, of the slight whiff of a scent and the shifting of the neck muscles- to somehow modulate the impulse where between full on-collision and aversion there is some kind of wavering that perhaps keeps the impulse coming precisely by switching it on and off in duration and intensity; a variable where contrast can be registered. And sound too; perhaps we do not so much as hear a certain pitch or timbre as modulate between differences and organize the intervals between these differences in the way we rearrange our bodies so as to create a precise peak- a very fine line between this and that – a resonance that gurgles on its own unsettlement- this very aggravation the cause of our attention- our alertness- perhaps even our consciousness and registration of any such fact of experience. The body is in constant motion not only as a locomotive vehicle that goes from here to there but also in this way to modify- to modulate impulses – to filter and hold in the balance variables so that they do not rule out one another but co-exist- percolate- interrelate and diffuse through one another. This than is the first frontier of affect – before there is anything like a you and I to pick up and put down a shopping list of sensory and cognitive exhibits. More we are cobbling out of these peaks and slopes- attention on the very verge of intolerances, intolerances on the very verge of an overwhelming attraction. This threshed is extremely refined- more like a brink that we situate ourselves on- that we know our experiences by. What is a spasm to one is an activation and awakening to another. What is docility and near muteness to another is a tempering of impulses- the holding in the balance the moment of action in a process that is never done with; the quality of a reflective state.


So that all this of course opens up many questions about functionality, coping and at the other extreme ineptness, lack of function, failure to respond in the appropriate manner; disability.


Could there by multiple possibilities of pulsing the beat between an in breath and an out breath? Are attentional zones of duration in themselves mutable- open to plasticity- to stretching, bending and sudden curtailment? Are these ways to micro manage an articulation of experience and worlding in which our bodies are inextricably woven into this languaging- in which body shape is in-dissociable from speed, spin, pause, suspension, reinvigoration? Is this performance?


How then could mediated experiences such as touch, co-movement, shared attention, and humour or play that intentionally disrupts attention at the same time as it rough plays the body become a way of crafting articulations through body plasticity as a pre-emption to metabolic, cognitive, and feeling plasticity. Is it a pedagogy for learning that is not prescriptive but is inflective- a responsive co-adaptation in the moment of how we blink, how we breath, how we move and stop? The pulsing on and off of an attentional zone; the invigoration, seizure, disturbance and re-implication of an emphasis that can not remain known in stasis- that needs to probe at the edge of what it is not to come into a bearing at this very pint of impossible feedback- otherwise it is a washout of white light- or a long dark sleep.


Perhaps a longer sustained gaze can create the conditions for a deeper amassment of co-influential tendencies- a multiplicity that begins to seize the moment as if they were single celled animals given a democracy of influence in the shaping of a grosser mass. Could one draw conclusions from the pulse of gestures, the immanence of breath and languaging potential that differs when the gaze is held open with no intentional sequential story to verify the next caption in the blink of an eye?


What would simply emerge under these eclectic ecological conditions where any passer-by rather than being ruled out as a distraction to the main point of occupation becomes a bit player in an open scene that is only as much and as little as what traverses and impacts that zone of attention, until the windscreen wiper again comes down. So that this would be a radically different kind of articulation or story-making process- not one of narrative sequential story lines but something more multi-dimensional like a holographic blossoming of connotations upon every tiny impulse that is not blinked into separate categories but forms a continuance that grows more like a plant subject to the conditions of moisture, light and heat and cold than to a pre-given structure of a popular story with a beginning, middle and end.


How then would personality emerge and be arrived at under these circumstances where associative assemblages become more important than historical lineage? Where circumstance and affect in the moment becomes the guiding principle to a gradually ballooning and elastic shape that depends on the motivation, volition and speed of chance multi-scalar encounters rather than to individual integrities. Rather that integrity depends first on these more pliable and reversible sets of tension.


Could this create a very different political landscape- where context creates form personality beckoning in due course as secondary individuations after the process is well underway?


Could this be a different kind of languaging that stretches across bodies and minds as effortlessly as tracks across an uneven landscape – where articulation is the constantly extending and atrophying circumstances in which we find ourselves at every moment? Is this now what it means to have a body- to have a language that is still vital?

Frontiers

Frontiers




Skin after all is a membrane that lets in the vacuous and treats it as its own or propels like a drum the flotsam that sprays and bounces upon its surface to create patterns of attraction and repulsion in a snow-storm- a magnetic pull that in its certain aspect of responsiveness becomes a push. Nerve endings, heart beats, the pull and thrust of the lung, expressions flickering like rivulets gathering, popping and redistributing like mice under our skin make for the feckless activity of a living system. Adaptation is all of this and more. This wavering question of whether to absorb or whether to bounce out again. Senses coalesce around these possibilities becoming in part the hearing that hears a crafted sound, the sight that sees a crafted conglomerate of light intensities. And touch too is only this. To play itself out into a rhythmic flourishing that is never only this or that- an embrace or a holding tight- but is this minute flexion amassment of valve modulations- the crafting itself of a thoroughfare, a threshold bolted in the moment between absorption and bounce, between enfoldment and exteriorization, between compression and extension.

A spasmic riveting in the knot of the belly or a yawning release into the tendrils of our most distal parts- the mitten hands furling and unfurling like new growth where plant-life and sensate life become imbued in this same tendency.

And what of intention- that hikes a ride on all these variously propagating furling and unfurling; the machine assemblage of push-me-pull-you in the spontaneous autonomic cascades of pulling in and sending out. A touch; the body temperature, the sweat glands, the speed of a tendency- a motivation building, a leaning and an off-setting of that leaning- this wavering pulsation that is like the flicker of a strobe light- so fast- so totally modulated with the bodies’ impulses to going into and offsetting in the next glance, the next breath, the next heart-beat, that all play into a semblance of stillness- a poise that is the fast patterning of all contagions, absorptions, ejections and reintegration’s into constancy. The crisis of contact- the trauma of invasion off-set in this near constant plasticity that is all the way through; the body changing shape, shaping to think, to move, to feel- a constant metabolic shuffling like a highly adapt gambler who creates every possible tone and innuendo of actual countenance and hidden possibility in a limited deck. We are at every level in the business of this magician act, not as deceit or as in a closed hand, but as the rippling whirr of the cascading cards as they vibrate through a widening and closing interval of two hands that play them like an adept accordionist.


So the cripple learnt to stand- the distortion becomes the impulse to a leaning, to a slight displacement of attention, to a new resolve that spirals around a certain curtailed oaring and flies off at the very moment of abrupt endings into the insignia of all that is valued- a metaphor, a dream, a myth, the conjurers adeptness- her adaptability- the flaying out of a peacock's feather beyond the bird ending. We are followers of these patterns- sunk and swooning in the need for this something more- the lost script of the cripple who once slowed to simply standing and nothing more, simply moving from here to there and nothing more and so at that moment, fell- coming undone- is all of our broken stories.

Instead we craft stories upon stories- little epitaphs - insignia and adverts that carry with the wind and become our transcript- the invisible guy-ropes upon which we fly


across stage, swoon into and away from one another in this compulsive aversion, this aversive compassion that adjoins one to another so that there are no curtailments- only this leakage and this bleeding through of vessels and sinews, blood and bone and air admixing and separating in its own multiple intelligences.


We walk and face each other and communicate because we create scenarios past the functions that would itemise capacity and let drop off impossible feats of limited perfection. By elaborating this mesh of entwinement- our feeling responses are mixed up already with every other- and the gaps themselves are the part of the pulses, the beat of a throbbing strobe in which we activate and rest- hopelessly lean and fall back into. Uprightness is nothing more than this- a slim loophole between a tendency to fall one way or another- attunement into any position, any posture, any semblance of a gathering and meshing of muscles, skin, bone; a release of breath, an articulation and reverberation deep in the guttural passages of a throat, is only these thin wedges of random suspension- between one tendency and another- these zero points of resonance that begin to build until they are an escalation that effortlessly pulses back and forth; a feedback that takes on a life of its own. In this sense our capacities are that point of effortless dropping; of giving way; even of deletion or forgetting. They are not a goal orientated skill set. They are happy times- the holiday in amongst the coming and going. Laziness is useful- the only useable thing because it is primed in amongst all the other tendencies hidden or exposed which filliate out into this environmental ecology in which at every level there is a twinning and separation over and over again. Every point of attention at whatever scale is a holograph of every other replicating association scaling up and down into endless conurbations. Structure and flow is this- a pulse of stopping and starting- a pulling together and a widening out again.


That this replication and slurred redistributed admixture happens simultaneously over and over again at the level of cell, fibre, fascia, bone, human composure, expression, relatedness, and global climatic tendencies is only to say that the meshing of hard and soft, hot and cold, wet and dry, brittle and smooth, gaseous and contained is a single necessity in the coming and going of form as ideation and ideation as form.

Human interest and attention is the next area of research for delving into what is usually thought of as physical, sensory and neurological complaints. Rather than erase these complaints they must be the starting point for building a wider attentional zone of variable impulses and tendencies. Disturbance or irritation is the point of activation for a re-settlement – a continual re-organization at every level imaginable. And to imagine these finer and finer thresholds of difference is to modulate them- to adapt ever more rapidly to the circumstances of our bearing.

This is the creative work to be done as environmental concern and as an inventive language/thought process rather than as individual pathology and therapeutic intervention. Our curtailments are the point of unknown sudden growths whether imaginative, prosthetic or as a total re-working of what it means to move, to articulate to further and to look back. Somewhere in all that is a re-conceptualization of present experience that is a meshing with no particular inside or outside. For that reason it is relational but not as a set of socially acquired know-how bullet points but as an ecology of intertwining metabolic, physical and nervous tendencies.

The body multiple

The body doesn’t simply move as one- as a single plane of integrity that shifts from here to there. It moves as a multiple of co-affecting tendencies that intermesh, intensify and dissipate in constant re-distribution. Some kind of shuffling aeration that is never done with. It is an undulation of rippling admixtures. A wave within a wave surmounting and effacing, absorbing and subsuming in variously held depth readings that are really low level meetings or collisions of various consortiums that come together and come apart. How something gets going is a low level affair- a slight stirring, a fractional variable between variously held temperatures where difference is highlighted in a sudden clash of proximity, or sudden instances of compression-release, of heaviness and lightness of flow and interruption. Out of these incidental holdings the beginnings of a coherence ensues as something is made out of the line of contrast across which different qualities and our growing awareness of this accumulation of possible gradients becomes a workable force; a lever of some sort that is not initially functional in nature. It is simply a line where one quality of hardness breaks off into a contrasting quality of plasticity, or heat and cold meet, or compression and release. This is not a fixed line but something played out intrinsically and intimately as a differential at every point at which it is felt and so becomes real to experience. Mind works itself out of these differentials that accumulates and disperses – that holds onto mass and collapses again into rivulets of flow. At the heart of form then there are these shifting sands, these waves of wind that shape according to the redistribution of particles and the residue they leave behind. At the heart of movement too there is this form out of the utter stillness of collision where synergetic forces hold and complement one another as a negative entropy- a moment of perfect symmetry between all colliding forces which acts like a zero point, until another shift upsets the integrity of this vacuum and mass fills the gap or flows out to the periphery as that particular dwelling comes undone, its elements taken up in other assemblies.


Where is our awareness placed in all of this convolution? Actually it is a sketch between all possible variables and to stop it would see it run for cover or make out of mere constructive fancy something outside of the conditions that actually bring it into activation. For activation is a dispersive and shifting attention that follows in waves- in the stops and starts of accumulative dwelling and disappearance – in expectation and negation, in formulation and erasure a pattern of minute displacements- a series of tilting exposures that are partial evocations – momentary balance points on the cusp of insignificance. Item by item they never add up to much. For the pump of their exposure is precisely this- a device or process like a ceremony of conditional placements held tentatively by all that they are not, twinned in a network of backgrounds and disappearing horizons that are the body proper of what brings up this process into relief. We play out these series of attentions and erasures- of recognition and forgetfulness, just as we take in a breath, hold it to a point just before it would become a choking gasp, and then let go again. We create simply in the in and out breath entrails along which our bodies like multitudes of gathering crowds -a medley of disorganised colours and sounds, suddenly adhere to a line of going forward, gong backwards- a rocking presence that is the undulation at the heart of our bodies and of our tendencies towards and away from compulsions, attractions, compassions and fears. We are the wavering tendrils of our own blinking activation. The on-off fracture line of compression-release that is a low level shock that scatters and re-adheres like magnetic filaments, a patterning that is above, below and beyond any single source element of a composure. Composure, bearing, settlement is a kind of refrain out of all the points of endless agitation and reconfigurement out of which we draw the patterns in which our own bodies rest. There are countless actions, activations, adaptations through which forces become reckonings in relation to one another and a semblance of presence – a certain shape that is nothing more than a warm spot demarcated on the edge of coldness gets going.


If we do anything together we do this dance of low level agitation and redistribution in which we do not meet as enclosed units with defining and comprehensive levels of self motivation and agency but rather we open up this stream-line of multiple coexisting circulations that begin bit by bit to influence and set in momentary lines of stability, one another. These are our on-going reckonings. They are our dialogic interface that is reset indefinitely along a line that only exists at the fold of variously held differences. This is touch when it is adaptive; when it is a feedback system for continual re-composure. It may be proximal or it may be across the variance distances in space. It may be the warmth of a hand or the fluctuation of a voice, a slow turning or a momentary glance. Facility comes up from behind not in our features alone or the tool-box of our set faces between eye, nose, mouth and ear but even before this gets going in the slight tendency that is coming through the lines of recognition and disappearance in the transformation itself. It is in our moving compulsion before the movement is ever set in terms of an action, a gesture, a mood, an event. However this touch may play out it always plays out through the duration of time. Transformation marks this play of forces in the very composition of our bodies which meld and adapt together and in the alignments through which we address one another and hang together between ground and sky.


Between you and I there is an interim that is forging and coming undone – capacities come and go as subsidiary resonances out of this play of variation that is the compelling journey of our disruptive attention. Attention buckles and kicks. It bucks and freezes. It runs and halts. Attention lives and dies in countless mannerisms that startle, excite, terrify and absorb us. They are our motivation and our inhibitions- our running pulse and the blood clot of an immoveable constraint. We push and rebound off of them making something out of this very unsettlement- learning about reversibility-about twist, torsion and plasticity through the stoppages. Three dimensional space is lived out according to the law of opposites where we reach a limit and backfire into another vicinity. Similarly we break down the tendrils of filiations into narrower and narrower pathways of navigation where every detour becomes the point of a scalar shift- a moving into and through absorption or a minute fluctuation-detour that begins to weave a texture unknown outside the application of that specific encounter. So encounters are our activation point which guide us like a negative bounce into compositions through which our bodies coalesce, cohere and dissipate all at once, enfolding and out-folding as they live out the pump of this multiple assembly.


Disability is a limit factor created by co-environmental seizure in the midst of an on-going affect. At the other side of this capacity gulf, is an encounter where the moment of affect has been held at arms’ length. There are multiple non-players in that un-met medley. This gulf creates a hesitation and the problem is never resolved but a moment in time is held outside the process which is always a technical question- an utterance waiting for the feedback of this very particular resonance that somehow becomes un-received and un-fed back. Engagement is the way to re-orientate this thread of a half asked question. That can be done not by focusing on capacity, function and fixing in what is traditionally seen as a less than fully competent body system, but rather by aligning processes into wider patterns of tilt, dispersion, displacement, relocation. It is the wider pattern of attentions through which assemblies run in order to forge together and break apart that articulation is reimbursed across our mutual flesh-cognition-feeling brackets. We are dealing here with exposures and evocations- With tension and relaxation, compression and release, intensity and dispersal. We are dealing of course with the pump of a process that folds back and forth in order to integrate oppositional forces into a coherence of induction and reaching out. It is the in-breath and the out-breath, the holding and letting go, the hot and the cold, the slow and the fast, hard and soft. These differentials are not givens; they must be played out and forged out of the way tendencies comes together suddenly to create friction, force, torsion or gradually disperse to create accommodation, absorption and least resistance. All oppositional frames are useable but they dwell deeply and are made into something when these chance configurations are patterned into compositional memory maps; into far- reaching environmental and body maps, into intricate multi-dimensional sculptures of co-action where speed is suddenly slowed into form, form suddenly swirls into the rise and fall of its making- where holding and letting go become one and the same playing out on top of and inside out of one another- making what is up, down, what is down up, what is left right, what is right left. This tilting motivating accommodation resides at the centre – the centre being found only out of all the spiralling patterns of shifting disturbance through which it is engaged. It is built up as an intensity that becomes located only in its actual use. It is a common denominator for balance created through adaptation at the lowest centre-point of gravity- where disturbance is a life affirming activation which is reintegrated continuously, shifting, tilting and recombining the periphery of our every casual encounter inwards and outwards to travel in leaps and bounds swelling beyond any given demarcation into a depth of a unified milieu.

Tilting as deep ecology; the diagram of our movements.

29.3.11


There is an alignment that courses through the body, channelling our receptivity.

It bends and turns, swoops and soars. Our dynamic movement and the systems and circulations that rinse through us re-constituting every aspect of our bodily composure are one and the same; an ability to align and match up disparate points that become thoroughfares, thresholds, valves in this constant aeration; this continual validation.

Connectivity is happening at every aspect through and between bodies, objects, surfaces, ground and sky as a limit factor- a propulsion off or a passing through; a deep affect in adaptation that splinters and channels from a locally precise presence to an ever-evolving patterning of affects that journey and navigate as each point catches on to a new point, bellowing out like a wave carried by its own rising and falling momentum. This is a consciousness- an awareness that makes itself from the most insubstantial activation ever on in a series of displacements, accommodations, jumps and parallel run-ins. Patterns begin to set up their own internal dynamics- their own propositions that insinuate a bearing in us as fragment by fragment an integral position is reached and no sooner has that been done than it is let go of again. So we move and stop, circulate and pause with this ebb and flow of all the tributaries that enmesh into mass and filiate back out into the tendrils of our senses, our limbs; our reach-ability; our imagination. Feeling catches on to that patterning. When we run with it that is joy. Our connectivity acknowledged is a deep acknowledgement of that joy found in a shared presence of this human life.

This is a deep ecology of co-involvement that occurs at the physically constituting matter of our bodies- the actual dialogue that is being made between heaviness- lightness, fast-slow, up-down, left-right, back-forth, density and aeration, collision and bounce, obstruction and absorption. These are qualities of affect and actual compositions that are mediated and held in countless checks and balances by one another. This is why all of matter and the orientation of our limbs, our muscles, our bones, the fluid in our body, our nerve synapses, sensory endings in eyes, nose ears and mouth, skin porosity, the way we hold and let go of postures in countless abbreviations between flexion and loosening, playing into micro fine thresholds of mediated leanings and re-runs, hesitation and propensities towards movement create in our deepest kinaesthetic bearings an accumulative repertoire of micro timings, slight leanings and tilts.

Actively engaging with and using this tilting mechanism is to work speed variables into slight mismatches, - creating a disequilibrium in bearing and using the very pull of gravity which when allowed to run indefinitely would create collapse, a fall, an extremity unchecked in one direction or another- and holding the tension of that leaning for just long enough for a spring-like rewind to catch in. In this stored tension- the torsion of a twisted spine, a momentary hip displacement, a bracing and pause in the run of things, something catches in like a re-bound and there is a near automatic wavering into a wider balance in which connectivity, environmental support, communication and imaginative bearing creates leaps in song, visual glancing, echo, resonance and the continual reverberation of a series of dispersive affects set into some kind of co-influence that run a context for a wider and deeper placement- a co-involvement that can not exist in an autonomous symmetry but must lean and tilt and probe across boundaries into linked up networks; device- organisms that pulsate and pick up where one another end into a wider and more far-reaching co-equilibrium that mutually off sets one another’s potential point of over-run and collapse.

Co-ordination, timing, accommodation, adaptation mark this place of threshold and re-invigoration at a deeper level of integration without which there would be dissolution and no possibility of renewal. It is at the very point of near disintegration that renewal catches in and so it must be allowed to play out and to bend or tilt into this aggravated point of inconsistency- of potential unsettlement out of which a wider circuit of flows, embraces and mutual supports takes shape. The spiral movement is the outcome of these ever reconstituted displacements- and the willingness to stay engaged to these potential slippages and disaster places and improvises a new position on and on out of the conditions of that moment that is a direct feed into and out of the potential crisis of every instance.

At the root of this improvisational mode which is a physical activation of the body composure at many co-operative levels is the ability to wholly rely on new points of support away from a more confined and static sense of coherence and self-defensiveness; to give into the tilting and the momentary sense of falling; to tease out new compositions in affiliation to the ground, the sky and to one another both as necessary constraints and as imaginative, physical extensions. Environment is nothing more than this- a probing beyond and through ones own given boundaries which are frequently insufficient for the full range of movements, thoughts and feelings that are only constituted out of points of co- activation.

Without these, the alignments of all our circulatory, physical and communicative systems are in held contortions and the thoroughfares are misconstrued. More and more of our body composure becomes stultified as a bracing in parts, a flaccidity in other parts that no longer match up as a timed and coordinated pump into compression and flow and can no longer be a rhythmic renewal into and out of one another but instead are held statically as either/or in opposition and under attack of one another.

So, crucially the slight yet immobile misalignments between sacrum and cerebellum, between ankles and shoulder, or upper back and the backs of knee’s, between wrists and lower abdomen, hips and toes are an indication in diagrammatic form of the mismanagement of this mobile fluid system of renewal and circulation. The tilt becomes a static distortion rather than an angled lever that plays into a speed variance and affects a seismic change in direction and emphasis between deepening and lightening pressure gradients to involve an interplay of forces that becomes a bounce, an absorption, a waiting suspension, an aerated disposition; a porosity at the very heart of matter, density and so-called material physical bearing. So by attuning into these held and stiffened areas of spasm that are enveloping and hiding shadow weaknesses and flaccidity in other areas there is a biting through as an alignment is reinvigorated and between two disparate points- the sacrum and cerebellum- a mobile back and forth charge of variegated adjustment- like a pilot light, is reignited. The mobility is re-enveloped into a wider order of things so that when the sacrum tilts, the cerebellum also re-sets and in the interim back bone there is a nervous vitality of all the liquid diffusions as too in the chest cavity there is this aerated rising up when the foot and ankle probes deeper into the ground, sinking like a versatile buoy the sacrum, hip and abdomen that tilts and rocks and floats in order to create a level bearing for the upright body as it moves across uneven terrain, pushes down and pumps up to speed in running, walking, jumping, falling rolling, standing, sitting and rocking.

These alignments in the body run through and are activated through points of modulated touch interaction with the surfaces of ground, and human to human contact so that in a sense, alignments map and run their course through bodies, through space and through objects as a deep ecology of co-composition. They inform our bearing and our bearing inform the arrangement and management of this wider circuit of association which in order to be meaningful and useful and aesthetically consistent with our sense of balance, well-being, peace and interest, need to create a direct line in and line out through our own body alignments. In this sense our engagement with everything we come into contact with and the co-adaptation of all that we would call an affect must be diagrammatically consistent with the very deepest physical recesses of an alignment- between sacrum and cerebellum, ankle and shoulder, chest and lower back etc… Again the alignment is not something static or visually symmetrical at all times. Rather there is this consistent dynamic equilibrium so that slight mismatches, tilts and displacements- the very incoherencies that would seem to be problematic on one plane, aggravate or activate a translation of a speed reading – which becomes at a dynamical level, a creative and physical use/expression. In this sense out of the traces of an environment- just as out of the diagrammatic traces of a static body- the potential of usage can be read back like a time messenger, of this continual becoming- this necessary adaptation in the midst of constant involvement through which the use and co-composition of every level of our body, from cell to gross matter, comes into affect.

Realignment can than- like a battery- re-charge the wider context of an environmental co-worlding so that physical, mental, relational levels of engagement can be back-performed out of this reignited physical bearing.

Body work- Shiatsu, Sotai, postural alignment etc is this re-tuning of the dynamic possibility inherent in our co-adaptation. It is a primary dialogue that in a sense can underwrite all more complex language, sensory, symbolic and physical capacities by re-sketching the diagrammatic foundation out of which this wider patterning evolves.

Similarly an environmental creative project can work through dispersive affect to embed organisms in co-activation in which internal alignments can gradually reach a bearing in relation to one another and so begin to interact and balance one another. This could be a highly dispersive informal holding space in which gradual levels of resonance and atunement, through on-going running movements, casual gestures and sound textures as a variously patterned background hum, come into certain resonances in order to build up layer upon layer memories of expectation, recognition, displacement and reconstitution. Out of these memory maps built as textures through time from the ceremonies and rituals of co-action, consciousness and unconsciousness play in and out of one another in scalar shifts of engagement and disengagement, emphasis and letting go.

Dynamic usage in a given context and physical alignment through touch receptivity are but two sides of the same coin where ecologies either side of the skin barrier meet and diffuse through one another constantly and uninterruptedly. At the heart of that admixture is our potential for adaptation- for affect as an on-going low level diffuse yet coherent awareness. That is our ideation- our imagination, our improvisation; our deepest and most tenderly held value. It is an attention that comes and is held between us out of a sense of on-going ease. This is only operative through physical kinaesthethic receptivity as an on-going co-constituting dynamically engaged concern.

This Apparent Life

22.2 11



There is a shift. Not exactly a movement- a displacement. A far reach or yearning.

An inclination like a yawn or a tendency to arch a distance not through ordinary locomotion but as a kind of embrace. The near and far is held proportionally in that embrace which is like an interval sensitive to the miniscule incidents-filaments- the flossing and filtering of stuff amidst stuff that is not exactly movement, not exactly stillness. It is both. The quality of the breath and its propensity to widen and close.

A never exacting interval that is always perfectly attuned to the conditions of its holding and is yet never complete- not yet finalised as this or that.


How we find ourselves of a day- in one temperament or another- subject to a mood or inclination or affected by this or that nervous, physical or thought condition, is likewise never closed- yet also it is a perfectly formed interval, arching from one physical location to another- patterning in that arch, a tendency to both displace but yet to keep a connection through that initial place.


In this way our conditions are our opportunities- the boundary or limit condition is the moment of leaping or ejecting out of that area- like a blind person that reaches the curvature of a room through its negative sensory impression and ascertains the possibility of what is beyond that room by careful examination of the details at her finger tips and modulated in a thousand beckonings and retreats, according to the very texture of give and take between her body and the constitutive responsiveness of the wall. How very much more intricate and what a possibility for yet further thresholds of difference and variance in the touch between one body and another who find corridors, rivulets and pauses of relative absorption and bounce not according to any single material bearing but according to how the play of surfaces in speed, volition and stoppage bring about qualities, values and potential constraints-flows through which substances emerge and recede again. A kind of dance struck up between two otherwise inert and separate bodies that in actuality are never apparently separate for they only emerge as what they are in and during that dance.


Even in supposed separation the dance continues- intertwining filaments and fissures that course around one another through the breaking and grinding down of traces of sound, volume, temperate, and some sort of value system that is a co-mingling of every other into each other like a semblance that can no longer be taken apart; that is cherished through this intermeshing responsiveness so that in this tumbling, what is inside is then outside and what is outside enfolded back into the inside. These folds upon more folds begin to flake and absorb, break off and melt back down so that it is not anything in particular that is there to be cherished- only the process itself- a composition-decomposition so intimately entwined that the evolution and devolution is totally indistinguishable and only the pattern of coming and going remains. That alone is the embrace- an embrace without hands, without fingers, without inner organs or outer skin- an atmosphere that pervades and through which all else occurs only as secondary attributes.


A disability- an inability at one level or another to engage in the consigned manner with these secondary attributes- to pick up this or that- to go there or here carried on the regular bending and flexing of the lower limbs- the heart carried into an overt energy on the slightest touch, pumping and thundering out of it's cavity, the balance swinging back but not forward, forward but not back, the upper body spasming ‘till the hands are tight mittens with brittle turned in fingers, the head swimming and un-locatable in the flash of body parts, the glare of lights that break up into a splintering as if the cornea over the eyes was being itself teared to shreds.. the breath expanding indefinitely but never refilling until it is nearly too late, or holding down like each gulp was another stone in the pit of one’s stomach that one can no longer spit out- the sounds that do not disperse or that accumulate to become a timpani of thunders that set in motion yet more thunders in the reverberations of echoes so that no original clear sound is anywhere decipherable out of the accumulation of copies on copies..


Disability as disturbance and the putting on hold of responsiveness- the arch of that pattern outwards against the limit factor of our own consignment. We are all partial and modulate this partiality in ever more refined levels of response. It makes sense then when addressing any kind of limitation on response to go into the detail - to fine tune the precise intricate moment when this becomes that- when touch as absorption, touches back and becomes propulsions, bounce - where flaccidity ignites into a flickering grip or simply the propensity for flow to condense against a momentary constraint. There again for rigidity and the spasming of over excitation to distribute into easy channels that may be convoluted or multiple or looping reversals of the initial directive that becomes blocked and so can only recurs over and over on itself in the wavering stutter of back and forth played out again and again.


So to follow the easy way- to learn this route that can never be pre-planned because it is subject to an infinite distribution of contacts and reversals. Where is dwelling possible? Where must it back up and give way? How to follow this stream between boulders, surfaces, densities- creating even within and through the hardest of substances, porous avenues and even where there is only apparent vacancy, a sense of pushing back, like ringing a cloth one way and another to gain traction out of our ease. We begin to define these higher order compositions- of smoothness, hardness, smooth, rough, movement, containment, light , heavy out of the way we play with sudden meetings, collisions, avoidances that pattern into multiple ripples of coming together and coming apart.

Thresholds are made in this way, out of the limit factors that would seem to make autonomous boundaries of partial capability out of a too fast or too slow meeting where attention, response and feedback is somehow usurped and we are left bereft in a mistimed vacancy with the impression of passivity in ourselves or others.


Co-dependence when attuned into the infinite capability of response at every moment becomes a fluid re-grafting of form and the capacities we attribute to these supposedly limited forms. We create this wide variable composition out of the very basic gross forms that we come to expect and recognise, and so begin to mix meaning out of hardly exposed stories and narratives that cut in, fill in , undo, rearrange and playfully admix in order to dwell in the very centre of what they are not. Identities begin to parody, curtail, elongate, spin out and abruptly redirect at the very junctures of co-independent growths. Sensitivities come and go like the tending of a plant life where sun, water, light, soils composition, pruning, wind, atmosphere all become intermingling events and the plant itself as it grows upright, bends, swivels, stunts, then suddenly blooms, fruits and dies only to re-emerge when new conditions present themselves, is only the inverse area of all the movements, collisions and interferences through which that body is given life.


Play with these compulsions, tendencies, disturbances, and interruptions and you create living systems through relational responsiveness whereby the pattern is greater than the limit factors of either you or another. Disability grows into a different pattern of capabilities not by healing or fixing the problem or creating specific treatments for dysfunction or sensory distortion, but by following the patterns of these limits into their natural co-dependant tendencies in the environment, in a song that is composing, in a movement tendency or a muscle tone tendency- in the very atmosphere of a resonance that is un-locatable either in this body or that but that the limit factor somehow jolts into manifestation. It is this manifestation and co recognition of the conditions of it s bearing that need to be enacted in shared processes of ceremonial play, action, work, rest that brings up the right way to live - and so the embracing and enfolding of value systems evolve at high levels out of these supposed limit factors in human capability or form making. For we can not find any kind of completeness or symmetry in one form in isolation but only through the running through of processes based on responsiveness and the awareness and feeling this seeds- That’s the embrace, both disparate and intimate at the same time- never static- always in a constant arching process of lengthening and curtailing- of redistribution at every point of its apparent life.

After Scotland Seiki, then “Side By Side” school session: 18.5.07

Not necessary to have a compulsion or even a plan. It is enough to dwell. Sink in- let it catch- and let the breath come. On this expiration the pattern in thought, in physical gesture will emerge. Together it is a feeling. This is the bite in.

____


The kids understand more than is their initial appearance.

To give credit to what they are about means they will respond and let unfold.


The launching into space and catching back into the ground will be possible.


Meld with the movement, then draw back on the expiration and in the distance between the two they will draw through the thread like beads of dew.


This motivates the overcrowding of too much value in one position to spread through the dissipation of expression.

Pain comes when this is hoarded or stays in one place.

Move in and around.

Then the problem: epilepsy in Shloimy, a tilting back in Malki, will become the solution.

It will be played out as a way of re-routing the centrality at the base. In Shloimy through sudden jolts, in Malki through rotational swaying; falling, catching, pushing, tilting and then a surge of uprightness. In Shloimy the jolting leads to exhaustion, then calm, then internal flickering, then a slow sending out from a warm basis.

Without this catching in nothing occurs. Yet without outer co-witnessing, nothing catches in. Inner leads to outer leads to inner.

Go with the movement up, then angle around and down. Go with the movement to one side, then like rowing a boat, angle to the other side, then support the horizontal.

To go forward, practice falling back, then sending out as the falling is caught, sustained, then becomes a propulsion out like a bouncing ball.

In each dynamic and its reverberation the circle is completed and sent into an inner quiet. Again this creates another echo at the extremities, in gesture, expression, emotion, intent.

But never begin here, with emotion or intent. Begin with the physical sway or rippling. Follow through and meet at its resting point.

Then will occur a paramount motion.

Between the two; what seems to be the pattern or sympton and the inner grain of a counter-motion, will come recognition.

Between the hands. Between the contact of one and another. The meeting our genesis. Enfolding out and dissipating within. This is Gyoki.

At the Heart and Extremity of all.

The kids will teach you how to remember what needs to be said and done as a follow through to where they emerge and again disapear.

People complete one another.

To have this holding space in relation to one another, move and position in order to angle into one pattern.

Then comes speach, movement, song, dance and rest.

This is Community.

______



Special Needs people teach the value of true energetic community as opposed to repressive social, familial or political obligation where a uniform pattern is superimposed rather than felt out as a coalition between changeable conditions of hard and soft.

Special Needs become very hard or very soft because the connections from one to the other in society, is missing.

By embodying an extreme, Special Needs people therefore tease out a valid or authentic modulation in others who accomodate to catch them and as such catch into their own counter-weight.

We each act for one another as counter-weights that allows the pendulum to keep swinging.

This is Centeredness, felt between an interchange.

________

________


The course that we take.

To confirm this as a guided walk.

The same parameters but as a rhythm of circulation.

One way up and around and drop.


 Brief Shiatsu-Seiki notes:

Shloimy: Stomach eruption.

Hands in mouth to make himself vomit.



Grasp flesh- around St. 23, G.B 25

Around and up- suspend, then drop and reposition inward to lower back and up through K, Bl then up into Ht, Lung.

Then let fall back down like vapour setting. When it reaches low ground, it will be gently heated: Ht-Kid interaction, Ming-Men, and will slowly spread out.



ie: Use the extremity of the condition, and meet it at its penultimate point (St. Vomit). Grasp and raise in order to then let fall back down and rise through connection at base- level.



Meet extremity with extremity as one point in a round tour.

To reach top of mountain, start at stagnant lake- go through corridor of valley. Then up the mountain by circumvention. Then peering down, go through rocks, down with the descending trickle of fresh water stream- back to lake which will be replenished thus far, through this journeying.



We are keepers of the land and the land is a keeper of us.



____


At the point of near-collapse an eruption.

Here is the beginning.



It is a borderland.

____


The key to all this is in feeling.

And feeling is in the gaps between contact.

RIGIDITY

What is rigidity? The pairing up of occurrences too neatly as a mirrored recurrence of one to another. That sameness creates a continuum which is an unfaltering line. A single track in a single dimension. That lack of punctuation comes to mean not moving at all; rigidity. The continuous buzz of unchanged.


There needs to be a shift, a slight displacement. A leaning to, a swaying out of a posture. The socket burrows down, the branches sway. There is alteration in the pelvis, the chest. Between containment and dispersal there is contrast.


In the space of that differentiation a process starts. There are staccato breaks in continuity. A splaying apart of a thread. It’s shredding and re-knotting. Winding and unwinding. That process now the continuity. Break and mend enveloped into one another. This is the force of dimensionality. A building up and around each instance into entwined depth. A rope with thickness, twist, give and take. A rope that is pulled and pulls back. A back-bone around which a jelly-fish recollects itself. An impression sought in each contact.


Association with the surface of an environment- with one another, each turn-taking as the context, re-bound surface for the other. This bat and ball. This mutual lop-sided energiser. Give and take. A pump. An engine. Air surrounding becoming breath.

Transformation and change. Movement and rest. Adaptability. Consciousness and sleep. Lazy mornings. Task and repose. Eat and company.


______


When this is not forthcoming; when the process is inhibited mid-sentence, there is a building up of one semblance of a tendency to toxic levels and this manifests in an extremity of behaviour. A tendency towards outward thrust, inward containment, a plummeting down or a rising up ever higher like a balloon without an anchor.


There may be vomiting, the loss of liquid from every orifice as an extreme correction to a former protectionism; a storing away, a ferreting away and eking out of resources. A claw-handedness; an introspection as if in a war-zone where self-preservation is a mission unto itself.


This in turn may be a self-correction to a period of volatility; a blowing in the wind and a catching onto this fancy or that; a riot of colour and sound. A mutability. An affability to all that passes. A physical attraction that is unstoppable. Dissolvement into this fire-cracker of life. Burnt raw.


This may be countered by a need for immersion; a liquid stuckness. A drowning immersion into a soundless depth. A slow-motion fish-bowl existence, tapping on the glass that is sound-proofed and dissolves and softens all the lines of life.


So these extremes play out in this strange dance of cause and affect each an inverse of the other, each a caricature cure of one another yet none truly touching, interpolating with one another into new beings, new creatures of dimensional subtlety.


Sometimes it is necessary to let these spontaneous spasms and their morose counter-parts play out. Gradually these affects of intense agitation and inert despondency begin to creatively admix and as they do so they become an entwined dynamic where response is always the on-going conversation or assemblage of both.


They mediate, contain, extend and subvert one another and so the lines bend, move, wiggle, swell and thin into tails of smoke. An air-plane with an ever extendable trajectory that cannot be planned out in advance for it is adapting to weather conditions, air pressure gradients and the hot and cold shafts of atmospheric ratings.


Each moment is a meeting and a composition out of all these elements that converge, absorb and disperse at every instant.

Capacity is an ambience of multiple tendencies that are lived according to ways of approach, timed collisions, rushed embraces and prolonged associations.

All that is a breathing mechanism lived out in the punctuation of proximities and distances. Intervals through which thoughts and bodies evolve and dissolve again upon one another and through one another.

Association is always a way to reshuffle extremes that would otherwise run into paradoxes of a purity that is uninhabitable.

____


Autism needs these admixtures for realignment on a bodily-mental-emotional-sensory-cognitive level.

Trust in contact is the single pronged approach to all these diversities.

Alignment-Tilt-Tendency.

_____

How can contact make this process responsive?

Activated.


Feeling-beholding-tolerance.


Assemblages that need no observer outside.


A practice of craftsmanship.


Bolting together of assemblages.

No separation.

No boundary.


Heart to heart through physical contactability.


Physical to supersede physical into the virtual.


LOVE

SWIVEL

After Seiki –May 2009


(Practice like Shiatsu but more based on the breath andf on acceptance and going with the responsiveness of the reciever as it alters and turns in real-time- taught and promoted by Akinobu Kishi.)
____

Alignment and tilt from the hips. A rotational swivel with infinite adjustments into momentary set positions. That informs a tendency that runs through and outwards like the threading of a needle –leanings out and towards- associations, relational tendencies that bolt together.


Assemblages in order to create conduits- circuits for sending out and sending in. Breathing is such an exchange. Located in the gravitational leanings of the hips. A capacity to contain, bunch together. Stress and release so that neither exists permanently separated.

In this heaviness of bone and flesh, this ability to feed by going into weight and its continual redistribution, in that pump at the core, all the senses emanate.

Taking in through containment- a grasping down and a release in cascades of outward flow. A squeeze pump-machine that by tilting allows the liquid to take on the sustenance of a placeable weight.

Then, only in that clear stillness- clear waters- descended as far as they can go, there is disturbance. A swaying. An inclination. Pure disposition towards this or that and its plaintive re-attention somewhere else.

The binding shifts so that there is a spiralling into exegesis- into the filaments that spread as they touch further and further outwards, molecule after molecule, displaced by and attracted to one another, now no longer as one but as singular unities- multitudes.

In that dispersal it reaches as far as it can go. Then reverses, pulled back down and in; into the vault of the spinable hips. Between back and front, sacrum and Hara, the eye and the ear and the smell and the soundings reside in these small tilts between opposites- back and front, left and right.

Through duration other states of dimensionality- between movement and stillness, unfold. This is the turning, the swivel, the spin caught and maintained in the stillness at the centre.

GAGES TO OUR BEARING

The recent past Notes:



The speed that we set ourselves to become visible at, determines the way our senses record reality.

We are a sounding fawk. We emanate a harmonic, through which specific frequencies catch into. Then a pattern is continuously reinforced.

Initially vision, sound, sensation emanates from out of us, not into us.

We must set a tone to catch a beat. Then through the interval of beats we must read through these gaps, a melody.

The human endeavour is the ability to decode filled and empty spaces as pattern, to retrieve in our mind this pattern and to elaborate or simplify this pattern endlessly.


By creating out of these patterns closed meanings and entities we are free to move between these forms. Otherwise we would be caught in tangents that we could never leave because they would never be resolved.

It is thus by creating “things” and “meaning” that we can move beyond “things” and “meaning”.

Our ability to determine the speed at which we operate: the “spin” of a particular instant of being is our ability to set dimension as our specific relationship with a known entity. This may change in time as we shift the conditions of our evolved presence and thus shift the parameters of our every relationship with that which lives. But it is our ability to know the conditions of this relationship at any one time that determines our self-knowledge and our knowledge of others; our freedom in every sense depends on this.

It is this which literally engages, like the spokes of interlocking wheels, our vision with what is seen, our hearing with what is heard, our feeling with what is touched.


Language comes out of the accumulation of all these feedback loops.


One needs to learn to “spin” very fast at the centre and slow at the edges in order to be visible in this world yet able to integrate on many levels and to adapt to many circumstances in the presentation of life.


There needs to be a continuous stream from one place of presentation to another so that the unfolding viability of a life is monitored and not broken up into different “takes”; competing selves or “fonts” or phases that cancel one another out and compete to fix reality at the tempo conducive to their specific existence. For all tempos feed into one another and support/define one another. They are un-viable alone although in our specific range of focus we very often can only attend to one at a time. Often this extends to the range of our memory so that the existence of one in our minds cancels out all memory of the other.


We must therefore leave traces; symbolic markers so that when we are in one reality we have at least the resonance or “taste” of another, even if we can not bring it up as a complete fabric of knowledge when we are taken up in the out-fit of another phase.


Human integrity relies on our ability to find an integrity below and above the obvious contradictions on the sensory, rational, emotional or physical level.


What is generative are the beginnings and endings of any cycle- both distant yet close, in that an end gives rise to a beginning and a beginning to an end. This suggests a clue of how what is most distant is also the closest. Here lies the turning points in the revolution that enables life to continue past singular identities; past singular frames of reference.

It is these points of transmission that are the points that energise.

_______


Routines. Space taken up with closed self-referential attention to a pre-set ruling. Sequences. Strings that must be followed to reach other strings.

Orientation. Navigation outside of this, am accumulation of detris that does not comply with any contactable whole. Directional shift. One falls into the patterns of systems not of ones own making or knowing. Overwhelming danger of annihilation.

Yet the routine splits the person into enforcer of a system and follower of a system. Pressure from within, in order to block out pressure from without. The authoritarian engulfed.


How to give systems a similar basis of internal referencing? Binary opposites- like a pulsing on/off, open/closed. This can be started up anywhere any time with any material accessible by the senses.


Ultimately the senses are re-routed to a “law”, that of binary opposites and this is “played out” in many different lights. There are an infinite number of frequencies or intervals yet it comes down to the same thing- an engagement through an opposing yet compelling bias. A balancing point induced out of the co-ordination of any specific relationship. This balancing point, since it is a dynamic expression of this adjustable see-saw, must by its very nature be sought time and time again in each new arrangements of life.

Systems are not memorised or “played out” as closed bubbles. They emerge out of the environmental conditions that create the tensile structures for each impelling point o f balance. The person, seeker of the “law”, becomes adept at playing themselves or aligning themselves right at the causeway of balance.


They no longer look things up in the “outer world”, they position themselves at such a disposition that everything that surrounds falls into place instantaneously in relation to the primary placement of themselves. The world is reduced. They angle themselves and thus “read” the embedded meaning that was always already there, in the seemingly random placing of all else.


When the relationship is there all else has an aptness simply by being just the way it actually is. This is living in Situ. Not creating a stage-set outside the world, which is prone to collapse or disruption with each new unfolding situation. A house of cards.


These systems of props must initially be imposed as symbolic diving boards into a new experience They are a form of fine-tuning within carefully measured co-ordinates. But then the thing must be allowed to let fly. To expand and play. The garden must erupt into the field and then the world beyond.


The juxtaposition between the past frame and the present re-frame becomes the ultimate contrast. That between what has been monitored as a sounding box; a man-made structure and the wide open space surrounding. Not now so destructive because the garden matrix is carried within, wherever one is and whatever the conditions.

LOCALITY AND DISTANCE

Near past notebooks:


A state of being ill at ease occurs with the specialisation and hence locking in of body-parts that become dense in their autonomy and hence unable to carry the burden.

Health involves the mutability between body-parts. The burden is shifted and there is a concertina affect and consequent expansion of focus. The centre of gravity that draws any one motion is bandied back and forth like a game of bat and ball.

The resonant inner shape is ferried to different regions whatever the outward dwelling may seem to suggest. For each action there is a constant give and take. A falling and holding. A going through boundaries and a containment of boundaries. This defines the ever-changing contours that both support a posture, organ function or emotion and yet let it breath and live by opening up ever-changing channels of movement. The sealing of one vault incurs the opening of another- like the chambers of the heart. Affectivity is summoned through this intensification which has the effect of closure and dissipation and the simultaneous affect of an opening. Timing is everything.

The mutability of body parts is the same for walking, the holographic pattern in the lumber, the neck, the ankles, the abdomen, the chest run into synchronicity separated by a hair’s breadth and interspersed with a polar opposite. There is a pattern of opening and a pattern of closing that cascades and filters into one another as they endlessly change places.

The result is a spaciousness around the head and chest and a containment around the lumber and abdomen but with this seized instant, in any played out situation, the opposite is ingrained, embedded and emergent within what is outwardly foreseeable.

The rooting and letting go is inherent to one another just as walking locally and walking across distance are combined; we start somewhere and then go on from there.

MEMORY

Recent past notebooks:



How to make the separation of elements ring together as one. To connect these points as tissue which stretches over the shape of ones expression. No separation between these ever changing expressions and the seed of ones growth -. Capability a meeting. No time to fall in the interstices.

A song that flows out from the centre and is not caught in leaning back on itself before it is done. A simple movement. Self-contained yet prescribed outwards. Coming out without needing to be read simultaneously. Belief in the centre of this message to direct a bearing. Expression then occurs naturally.

Same with jointly held space between people. It expands into movement and gesture or when returned into the seeds of intimacy can be brought back into simple contact of the one with the other.

Here we sit around a fire. Or spin to the outer periphery of a field. What is known at the edge is also returned to the centre. There is guidance and direction in each phase through a central living momentum.

The rope held tight at one end swings free at the other. It creates a buzz in the air. A resonance that includes and embodies within all that it touches.

The separation of bodies in a garden comes together in the pathways they follow. There is an interstice. A cross-stitching of these multiple directions that stills into contemplation.

There is regard even in seemingly separate pockets of experience. Different levels of up and down. Throwing energy up in the fire. In floating banners of colour in the wind. In all that is light and travels upwards. The head over heels bouncing over the ground.

The shattering and awakening of abrupt counter-flow. Then the descent moving inwards. The ash as it falls. The water from buckets of collected rain-water. Decomposition and sinking in to the ground. Contact with the damp grass. Sustained contact as one lifts back down from being lifted up. The quiet flow that settles after all eruption finds its place anew. Both up and down, out and in, are breaking across one another constantly. This is the fabric of our memory, as we hold together even in our separation.

______


There is an outreach or reaching out. We are the culmination or counter-balance that stretch out and interlink the distances between things and people. The centre holds firm because it needs to as the basis for these counter-weights. We are positioned in order to provide a maximum flow between the visible embrace of ourselves and others. This is ease of body and freedom in thought and movement whether minute or expansive. We are still, because the adaptations in order to keep the passageways open are on-going. A constant sensing and re-orientation from the centre outwards. Therefore the extremities are loose yet conscious, moving from the pivot of our inner bearings that exist only in relation to the inner bearings of all other life-forms. Distance becomes home. Expansiveness has an intimacy.


Simply “to be” relies on these fine filaments of sensing. These tendrils that seek out one another and wrap around every possible permutation. The connection is maintained whatever the passing shape or position. One shift involves a simultaneous shift in the texture that begins where we are now and travels to what we can not perceive or know. Yet something entices and enables us to shift our position so as to keep the vaults of transparency open, from one to another.


The message gets through and is known even as it is sent by our adaptive shape. We seek out the easy and the comfortable. Thus the connection is maintained. Smilingly it has a feeling of aptness.


There is nothing that we can approach or prize open. It is timeless. Both instantaneous and never-ending. Because there is no final shape. No mark of what we are and what we may move to. We punctuate the land but the quality of this punctuation is always a reinvention. We enliven the land through this transmutation, then blinkingly in the interstice of this revolution, we acknowledge one another.


This is where “mind” is set.

The Autist regards the wider picture but can never be simultaneously in the right place to express it. The smile nevertheless still lingers but can not look back on itself if it is wider than any one being. But in a brief touch the person is met and is wholly answerable.


Co-ordination and language depends fore mostly on all these other connections wider than what at present we conceive to be the boundaries of self and self-approbation to be.


“Regard” is fore mostly in our bearing towards “others”. For these bearings to be relevant they must be forever adaptable at many different scales of operation. There must be an open passageway of translation between these different scale dimensions.


“Mind” is the projection of the body into a space unknown which has yet been enlivened by all these other connections abounding. What is minute within is a resolution of the vast landscape without. This formulation can also be reversed.


_____


We anticipate our sure-footing because the fabric is woven simultaneously between every living being. It is therefore a rightfulness to progression. Space is given. Then filled. There is a waiting preparation. Then a brief occupancy. Then a letting go. This is the way of life acknowledged by the living and given to one life by the another. We all give and we all receive in order to co-ordinate our movements – Our beckoning into a space and our moving out, is how we make way for one another.


Contact is this dance of involvement and widened re-affirmation from a still place where all further rotation can be witnessed. Before once again we too become part of this spiral charge. We forever change places, taking on different roles in this ever lasting dragon’s dance.

______


Twist the combination-lock until there is a breathing through with the environment at large. All else that is good health and fortune will follow.


This is true meditation- attunement.


One’s means of expression whether through art or language or gesture only makes sense when there are reverberations of this comprehensive inter-locking canopy of energetic associations. This web of cross-stitchings of attraction and detraction that cancel one another out to create a way through of conflicting directions and the melting away of forms thus erected in a dialogue of transmutation; of interlocking and give-way; of holding together and passing through.


Within the micro and macro environment of social, political, cultural, ecological credentials, a melody rises, making of the context an invisible net, seeming to rise out of the volition of will yet residing and being born out of this mesh.


Without this frame of reference the language, gesture, expression and art-works fold and refolds back on itself becoming heavy or else trails off into wisps of non-entity.

For a consciousness that is balanced between growth and completion a context of operation must be held firm.

Many strains on communication and volition occur because at some level, whether micro-energetically, socially or ecologically, the mesh has been insulted. Then there is no sure footing.


The mesh must be repaired simultaneously to the organism gaining a sure foot-hold.
Sure-foothold depends on there being somewhere to put ones` foot.

We can only know where we are going when there is the possibility and hope of somewhere to go.

THOUGHT FORMS

Notebooks past yrs:

The form of our imagination is the form of our bodies moving fractionally past where we stand. Elasticated out and bending into contours that will shape our action. They lay the path- are the carpet we spin across the gulf. A bridge or stepping stone, just too wide to straddle so that we must launch ourselves outwards and jump or fly. If somehow captured as a visual entropy half-way, this becomes a levitation; a suspension were we are formed equally from above and below, buffeted and balanced from all sides by the connections we make- like tiny lassoes- to a wider environment. These filaments or tenterhooks position us at a fractionally different place at each instance as they lengthen and contract in pairs that angle us forward, backwards, upright or plummeting downwards.

No position is defined on its own. They work as diametrically opposed reflections. We trust our being on the wind and in this moment enliven the space we enter. Our whole bodies attune and complete each episode of multi-layered contact (which is equally what seems centred within our own skin and what separates, so better to connect the distance between one supposed completed form and another)

We stretch tendrils out towards one another, moulding the space just out of reach; the gaps between our steps. This is our grafting or measurement, our thoughts and cognition.

Yet it is the falling into the thought about form just past the moment of standing which allows for this.

Form is a distinctive thought entity. With it, co-ordination, language and emotion is ensued. We emanate outwards from this unlimited seed. And it is from here that we perceive; issue out and receive in as a co-mingling.

When this thought-entity is fractured, reduced or bolstered past all possibility of sending out- stoked up and plastered shut or trickling away and bleeding dry outside of any situation of movement and connection, of sending forth and receiving back- when it is bruised, then problems will escalate. For then there is no feedback around a recognised entity. No integration depot- and nothing can be broken down nor built up.

It is the tiny seed-thought from our projected ladder that spans out in all directions to carry us far and take us home, which we must address. For when this is properly addressed then we can co-ordinate our time of coming and going and measure our contact with others. And it is this extension and re-deployment to a still point; these two diametrically opposed but self-fulfilling tendencies, that complete our humanity and send a switch-light out from the heart- which is re-routed at the source of our present living manifestation- at the Dantian (lower abdomen) where we fold in and fold out.


Our human forms come out of non-form. A great pool of many conjoining and separation. This nurtures us and is the point of possibility; the any-which-way, out of which we must grasp and send down the strands of any duality into our one unity.

Then at every breath and every gesture this duality must re-appear and express a different facet of our dynamism. We must sense by conjoining in our minds a unity which depends on the gulf of duality that is our origin. Our one emergent source is found anew at each instant in the metaphor of creating or sending forth a unity out of the necessity of duality which is our consignment in movement. We extend through time in duality, then send back down into the valuable but static source of our beginnings and end. This is our position in space. Our place on the earth.


We must grasp and seize the mass of stirrings into a co- partition of separation and unity in order to live and to be. This is our human destiny. The emblem anew at each moment. The contradiction. This is our will, our perseverance, our grasp and surge of life.

This is recognition.

This distinguishing and folding back in is our life.

CATCHMENT

Notes recent yrs:
We all have a framework that we hold open. It is our catchment- our opening out and containment. It is our story. Our Depth and our breadth. We cradle it with our being and a space exists here and where other life-forms gage it with their own being. There is a continuous reaching in and a sending out; an interpenetration of frames. We strike chords with one another in this way.

But there must be the setting of this gage in the first place for this to happen. The holding first of a set piece that becomes the instrument which beckons movement and so by channelling the wind that makes for music.

We speak to one another because we all hold forth these tuning Fawkes and like tentacles or aerials to the wind, they span out in order to pool and direct the air currents borne from the movement of life.

We are each of us both sounding boards and the sound emitting. Both frameworks that act as receptors and the dance patterns that relay over these frameworks. A script must have a surface in order to manifest. This surface is the context of our inherent being. Out of this we must explore and welcome one another.

It is our very uniqueness; our own particular set of co-ordinates that form the brief upon which others make their presence heard and felt. We are to them as they are to us. And together we are one. Contact is life.

_____

For recognition both of oneself to oneself and to one another, there must be the holding of a fixed gage through time. There must be duration. Patience is needed.

Only then can there be time for conscious approach and an affirmation of a meeting. We must hold a space, balancing a set of positions that span out and become a resonant sound chamber. Then we have prepared the ground, prepared the home in which all else distant and close can be understood as a relational position, or a multi-facetted alliance in which boundaries are not the end but the beginning of this resonance in that all contours become the chamber in which movement sings.